Summer Blues

I felt myself starting to get a small pit in my stomach around April. It grew as the summer got closer and closer. My little ones spend more time with their dad for summer break and it made me a little anxious. While I know they need the extra time (and quite frankly so do I) it gave me so much anxiety wondering how they would adjust.

This is my first summer working thru a summer schedule with both of my little ones. I’ve encountered so many firsts since my divorce and I work very hard to be mindful and intentional at how I journey thru them. So when my feelings arose I acknowledged them and felt them no matter how uncomfortable they were. I let myself feel the fear, the anxiousness, the loss of control as a mom, and even the shame that my babies have to navigate this. I’ve learned that being painfully honest about where I am is the only way I can fully process past that moment.

Once I fully acknowledged why the pit in my stomach was there, I was able to make a plan. I didn’t want to just survive the summer, I wanted to thrive in it.

I prepared the littles as much as their toddler minds could comprehend. Then I prepared myself. One thing I’ve learned over the last few years is the power of taking control of my thoughts. Just because we think it doesn’t make it true and just because the thought comes doesn’t mean I have to believe it. The power to speak back to irrational and negative thoughts is in all of us. I exercise this daily, sometimes hourly. I talk to myself out loud quite often 🤣. I remind myself of whose I am but most importantly I remind myself of who my children really belong to. Mark 10:16 says that God takes children in his arms, places his hands on them, and blesses them. As moms we feel like it’s our responsibility to protect them, cover them, nurture them, to keep them safe. But ultimately they belong to God, not us. And he has more power than we could ever have to watch over our babies both in and out of our care. And what better place for them then in the arms of God?

So I changed my focus and I felt the pit filling in my stomach. I took the confidence off myself or anyone else and placed it back in the hands of God and focused on what I needed this summer. I planned trips, I made sure my feet touched the sand of a beach, I drank wine with my friends, I got 4 new stamps in my passport, I slept in, I took naps, and I renewed my relationship with Christ again.

Now fast forward a couple weeks later, I got the two tots back and I have so much planned for them to end this summer with a bang! I feel renewed so I feel like I can be an even better mom to them and most importantly, I feel like I can be better to myself. There is so much power in how we CHOOSE to frame every situation that comes up in our lives. We can’t control what life throws at us but we are 100% in control of how we choose to frame it. Let’s face it all with our heads up and with anticipation. It ALL can be a blessing if we allow it. Cheers to one hell of a summer!

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