I’ve heard it so many times over the last few years. I’ve always taken it as a compliment but I don’t wear it as a cape of honor anymore. The “you’re so strong” messaging can be taken a little too far. Especially for someone like me who sometime needs more than a gentle reminder to release and relax. Being so strong is not only unrealistic but unhealthy. So even in moments of complete discomfort I try to always be honest enough with myself to own it and vulnerable enough to sit in it.
Im much harder on myself than I’d like to admit. Especially as a mom. My stuff gets placed on the back burner so much that it can become a habit to keep it there. To deal with it later. I can name off 100 things more “pressing” than my feelings or the fact that I haven’t gotten a full nights rest in 4 years 😩. But I’ve learned that the condition of my heart is just as important as the light bill. That the nourishment of my soul means just as much as me getting an oil change. And it doesn’t grant me any honor when I sacrifice myself for those I love. Because the denial of me will always ultimately deny them in some way. Me being only at my half best, me not pursuing my own goals, me not honoring my heart, me operating in fear….it all equals to me not being able to be the best person I can be. So I try to be consciously vulnerable, aware and unashamed of my weaknesses, while still living in my growth. It’s a delicate balance to walk. Because with vulnerability ALWAYS comes the potential for hurt. But it’s so worth it to me. The reward is always knowing that no matter the outcome you were true and authentic no matter how it was received.
So as I enter this holiday season reflecting on this year, all the triumphs, some of the mistakes, and things I’d like to do differently. I remind myself and I’m hoping to remind you that though I may LOVE to wear a good cape, I’m nobody’s superwoman, And quite frankly I don’t want to be. I’m a woman, I’m human, I have a heart, I have real feelings, I carry real weight, and I need to prioritize my self care. If I don’t learn to consciously honor my vulnerabilities then I can never expect or demand anybody else to. So yesterday I booked myself a massage and checked into a hotel for the night. Tomorrow I’m going to get a facial and the next day I’m doing something else because I deserve to. And though my life, my schedule, and my responsibilities won’t allow for me to do it every single time I feel I need it. I am committing to doing it more. For me. What will you consciously commit to doing that will nourish your soul?